Today in Washington, our reliable sources tell us that politicians are working harder than ever… at confusing the public! From contradictory press statements to budget proposals that defy the laws of economics, it’s clear the nation’s leadership has mastered the art of “saying nothing while sounding important.”
Thank you for reading this post, don't forget to subscribe!Take President Biden’s latest plan: raising taxes to fight inflation. Yes, you read that right, folks—because nothing says ‘lower prices’ like taking more money out of your pocket. The President confidently stated, “It’s all part of the plan,” while his aides scrambled to figure out what that plan actually is.
Meanwhile, Congress is locked in yet another fierce debate—this time over what qualifies as a “working lunch.” One faction insists that catered lobster is essential to government productivity, while the opposition calls for more relatable snack options, like gold-plated caviar. As always, bipartisanship hangs by a thread, or maybe just the price of lobster.
In other news, the FJB Network has discovered shocking new evidence that may explain the mysterious budget deficit—turns out, it’s hard to balance the books when you’re writing checks with invisible ink. Stay tuned for more on that breaking story.
